I just received what I believe will turn out to be a major clue to living a happier life. I finally see why I set up my own life to have so many challenges. The short answer. I have a need and desire for situations that require extreme courage. So I create them.
How did I find this out? Well, I'm taking a class with Alexi Sebasttien, Manifesting in Motion. Currently I'm in part 2 the class, called The Prosperity Project. Alexi is a very talented coach and is also learning Thetahealing from me. She does something called Hand Analysis and from the first time she started speaking to me about my hands I knew she was spot on. My whole purpose in life is Love. And, it is my lesson as well. Requiring me to be clear about boundaries and about emotional authenticity (which sometimes is a difficult one for me, though I am clearing those beliefs about what will happen if I truly say what I feel as quickly as I find them). In her hand analysis she also looks at your heart line -- which I'll talk about in another post. And your special gifts. Turns out your gifts come with penalties if you don't use them. And, if you are not using them one way, you'll find another.
Recently I've been writing about the idea of competing creations as a reason that what we desire is not manifesting. And, I've been totally aware that I had a competing creation in the area of money. I am a powerful manifestor and if something I'm desiring to manifest is not manifesting, then it's because I'm creating in an area that competes with this. I just wasn't sure what it was or why.
NOTE: I had pretty much finished this post and my computer crashed. So I lost everything from this point. Had I been writing this in Word, it would have been saved, but only that which I had thought to save was recovered here. Maybe this is another challenge to overcome.
Extreme Courage is the gift. And it means that I do well in challenge situations. And it means that I NEED challenge situations. I need the "extreme sports" of life. Maybe it's why I like watching sports so much. So when not faced with a challenge, I subconsciously create them. And I like the adrenaline. I've always been calm in emergency situations, it's a point of pride. I've faced a lot -- including a gun without flinching.
In fact, I have a bullet wound in my back from that one. I was volunteering at a drug rehab therapeutic community and someone "split" from the program. A staff member and myself went to this bar in a particularly rough section of Richmond looking for the errant resident. As we came out of the bar and got back into my little Simca, two guys put guns in either window and wanted our money. I didn't have any but I did have a gas card I didn't want to give them. And my friend was from a tough section of Boston so I knew he wasn't handing over anything. I looked at the robber on my side and he took hold of my hair and I just kept looking at him, eye to eye. He let go of my hair and seemed to be a little less certain. At the same time I had the car keys in my right hand and was working them around to point at the ignition. I knew my friend would do something and I needed to be ready.
There was only one hitch. My car had a broken solenoid switch and had not started on the first turn over in over a month. IN fact, it usually took me 5 or more minutes of clicking to find that place where it would turn over. That it would not start in this situation never crossed my mind. I just knew I had to be ready and my friend grabbed the guy on his side and pulled him in the window and said "Hit it!" I jammed the key in the ignition and turned it and......... the car started on the first turn for the first time in many weeks. We took off down the street. The man on my side fired and the bullet was slowed down by the back side window and just as it would have hit me I had flattened my shoulder blade so that I could pull the gear shift around the extra body in the front. I felt it hit and just kept driving, though I did tell my friend what had happened. From that time on, I've known I was protected.
In our class today I realized that I need the physical challenges as well as the mental ones. One of the things Alexi suggested was that I needed to physically challenge myself like going to a rock climbing gym or something extreme. And, truthfully I had noticed these stairs at the Metro Station on Madre Street last week. Currently I have a problem with one heel, Achilles tendinitis, and so walking is difficult. Dancing is not, but dancing at home is not as challenging and dance classes are much more expensive. Sometime last week I got this idea that I could ride my bike to the Metro Station and then do the stairs like my own private gym work out area. So while the class was still going I had my assistant get air in the tires of my bike and as soon as the class finished I was on that bike. I love stairs. When I was working in EarthQuake Recovery at Cal State Northridge I could run 8 flights of stairs without stopping and without breathing too hard at the end of a 10 or 12 hour day. I like pushing myself physically and have not been doing it because of the heel.
The metro station parking structure is 5 stories or 4 1/2 flights. I found I could go up them at a steady walk without too much trouble. I was breathing at the top but not out of breath. So then I came down a flight and explored the whole station, looking at maps and figuring out where I could take me and my bike on the metro for even more exploring. Then I walked over the freeway to where the trains are and went down a long couple of flights and back up. Now I could really feel it. My muscles were doing that sort of weak swishy thing that says "we're not sure we're going to keep working and what are you doing to us anyway?" Great feeling. I could feel the joy bubbling inside me. Yes! On the way home some part of me was thinking about how to make the bike ride more difficult just to make sure it stayed challenging.
For 10 years I had a successful painting contracting business. As I was writing this I realized that one of the things that kept it interesting and challenging was the continual physical exertion of it. From the very beginning I pushed my body to do things it wasn't used to doing. I even learned to spray lacquer with both right and left hands because my right arm wasn't strong enough to keep going all day. Squeezing a spray gun with the same feel with both hands is tricky and you need to do that to make the lacquer spray match. More challenge.
Today's class was one of those defining moments of my life. I feel as if I've been given a key to a door that's been locked for a long time and behind which are some of the most important secrets about how I function as a person. Once I know these secrets I can modify them and set up positive working situations with my ThetaHealing Skills. It's the knowledge that I got from understanding Alexi's hand analysis. The "ah ha's" just keep coming. Current and past, much of the landscape of my life makes a lot more sense to me.
For over a year now I've been feeling like I would be moving. I just didn't know where. Portland Oregon was high on my list but there were other locations that were in the running as well. I love moving, love going to different places and sort of "starting over". One of my favorite jobs was running social science survey offices for a statistical research firm. I came to LA for the first time in the mid-70's and ran an office at 44th and Vernon. We had the highest numbers of any survey in the nation. I only knew one person when I came to LA and left knowing a lot. I was sure I was coming back to this city and even though it took almost 10 years, I did. I also ran offices in San Francisco, Pittsburgh, and South Bend, Indiana. Before that I'd walked away from all my possessions in Richmond Virginia to go to Atlanta and then finally landed in D.C. In the late 90's I set it up so I was bi-coastal. And then moved to Bethesda, MD for a couple of years. I do so love LA. And, I've kept feeling this urge to move into the new.
After today's class I'm thinking maybe I don't actually need to move. Just set myself a challenge of setting up a new business location somewhere else and making that a success, too. Like living in two places and going back and forth. Whatever, at least I understand the feeling. Now, I can more clearly decide what I desire and use my Theta Skills to create it.
One of my gifts is being able to see and find others Competing Creations. It's just my own that are more elusive. And now that I see how and why I keep creating challenges I can use my Theta skills to make magical changes. Yes! Yes! Yes!
If you want to know more about ThetaHealing just email me at thetahealingblog@gmail.com.
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